CORONAVIRUS TAKE OVER HIM

[ IT'S CHANGED FOR A WHILE ]

Yes, time not change our current situation but "It" has changed our perception and our thought. I was so terrified with that thing because it can harm ourselves. 

You know what I mean. 

A small molecule of virus that killed a million people. An atrocious virus that make someone passed away. An... evil virus that threatened a person who did I love. 

I was shaking at the moment. The moment that I heard he may be got infected by that virus. I shocked. I feel like I was at the immense and huge place that was empty. No people, just me, myself and I. I have no words to talk. I am being dumb. I don't know what should I do. I can't thinking in the right way. I'm totally lost.

My tears come out rushingly. I never asked them to see the world but.. they attacked me like i'm lose. I just asking my mind to keep me in calm and think positively. I don't want to have a messy thought because if I had that, I will never get face this matter. I should and have to be strong for him. No matter what, I SHOULD!

Before that I got some instinct that his brother was got infected by that virus too but I just be silent. I don't want that happen, if that thing happen it can cause many ppl in their house get it too. But.. too late. It... happen right now.

Yes, lately I'm being very emotional because of his tired give a little effected for this relationship. He replying my message like he doesn't love me anymore. Like one message to one message. I do understand his situation but honestly, I feel alone. Like just only me who was fighting for this Long Distance Relationship? My brain got pushed. My thought just say "It's okay, it will be fine. Time heal everything, so just give him a time to recovery" 

My love one had a fever without cough but too much fatigue. I keep my mind in positive because I hate to think negative about him. I'm... scared.

Today, 24 May 2021 he have an appointment. He having a swab test at his area. I swear with all my hands that I have, I feel afraid, anxious, and my heart pounding. I hope everything will gonna be okay. I do hope and pray for him. Obviously, I hope for a miracle. I know it happen or not, Allah is the best planner ever. So, hope that his result would be negative. Hopefully ;)

The next day, 25 May 2021 it was a rainy day. No thunderstorm but just rain and rain. Suddenly, I saw the sun but... it's not smiling like before. I feel anxious, my heart feel different. I have that instinct again. It would be a bad instinct but I deny it. I don't wanna think about it. I do pushed it away. 

Unfortunately, what I was worried before happen drastically. His result was... POSITIVE. So, again I feel I was in the empty and huge place but... its totally different. Its dark. No light. My love one turned into covid patient so? What do you expect? Im lost. Luckily, I've been prepared my mental and physical to accept any result towards him. I know I can do it. I give all of my spirit and love to him and hoping that he will speedy recovery. I just can help with that, care for his heart and also his mental health. 

"Sayang, I know you kuat. You kena lawan penyakit tu. You kena kuat untuk semua orang yang you sayang. Dont worry I akan sentiasa ada untuk you if you perlukan I, masa ni you just restkan you punya bdan sebab you still lemah lagi. I know you can do it. I trust you sayang" 

"Sayang, I love you with all my heart" 

Hmm.. I'm crying then I pray to Allah to ease everything. I pray to Allah for his health and give him some strength. I hope, there was some miracle that will help him. 

"Sayang, YOU CAN DO IT!"

I'm sick. I was moody the whole day. I tried to make myself happy to make sure he not worried about me. I cant sleep over the night, even I'm having gastric I'm not tell him. I tried to cover up my sickness, but that not was a big matter because what happen to him currently make me out of control. I'm scared to lose him. I swear!

Today 27 May 2021, his body still in weak condition and I still with my moody day. Just like thru up my day but just my body not my soul. Its gone.

Day by day, Alhamdulillah. Thanks to Allah. He got recovery from that illness. I am so glad. Thank you Allah for everything ♥️